Why do we search for skills?

Why do we search for skills?

Chapter 3
Dr. Muhammad 'Adb Al-Rahaman Al-'Arifi

I once visited a deprived town to deliver a lecture, after which there came to me a teacher from outside the town. He said, “I hope you can help us finance some students.”

I said, “Strange! Aren’t the schools government funded, and

therefore free?”

He said, “Indeed they are, but we would like to fund their university education.”

I said, “Well, the universities are also government funded. They even offer student grants.”

What are we going to learn?

What are we going to learn?

Chapter 2

Dr. Muhammad 'Adb Al-Rahaman Al-'Arifi

People generally tend to share their moments of happiness and sorrow. They are happy when they become wealthy. They will be joyous when promoted at work, content when they recover from illness, and cheerful when the world smiles at them and fulfils their dreams.

Likewise, they all grieve over illness, disgrace and loss of wealth. Knowing this to be the case, let us look for ways in which to make our joy everlasting and hence overpower our sorrows. Yes, in reality life tends to be both sweet and bitter, and on this

we would not disagree, but why do we often focus on our calamities and sorrows, and as a result become depressed for days on end? Where an hour is enough to grieve over something, hours on end are spent grieving. Why?

Be unique

Be unique

Chapter 6
Dr. Muhammad 'Adb Al-Rahaman Al-'Arifi

Why is it that some people’s discussions end in argument while others may discuss the same subject and end their discussion in a friendly manner? It has everything to do with the skills of holding a discussion.

Why is it that when two people deliver the same sermon with the same words, you find that among the audience of the first person someone is yawning or sleeping, another is playing with a prayer mat, and others are repeatedly shifting, whilst the audience listening to the second are listening attentively to the sermon, such that they cannot even blink an eyelid nor of what is being said? It has everything to do with oratory skills.

Do not cry over spilt milk

Do not cry over spilt milk

Chapter 5
Dr. Muhammad 'Adb Al-Rahaman Al-'Arifi

Some people believe that the traits they have been nurtured on, which they are recognised by and which have left a certain impression about them on the minds of others can never be changed. They surrender to this thought, just as a person would surrender to the fact that he cannot change his height or skin colour.

On the other hand, an intelligent person thinks that to change one’s nature can perhaps be easier than changing his clothes. Our nature is not like spilt milk that cannot be scooped up again. Rather, we are always in control of it and there are certain ways in which we can alter it, and even the way we think!

Improve yourself

Improve yourself

Chapter 4
Dr. Muhammad 'Adb Al-Rahaman Al-'Arifi

You sit with someone who is twenty years old and notice that he has particular etiquettes, logic and hought. You then sit with him when he is thirty to discover that he is exactly the way he was ten years ago and has not improved at all. Yet, you sit with others and you feel that they are actually taking benefit from their lives. You discover that they improve themselves on a daily basis. In fact, not an hour passes except that they improve either religiously or otherwise. If you wish to ponder upon the different types of people with respect to self-improvement, then think about the following:

They did not benefit

They did not benefit

Chapter 1

Dr. Muhammad 'Adb Al-Rahaman Al-'Arifi

I remember once receiving a message on my mobile phone which read: “Dear Shaykh, what is the ruling on suicide?”

I called the sender to find a very young man on the other end of the line. I said, “I am sorry, I didn’t understand your question.Can you please repeat your question?”

He said with a grieving voice, “The question is clear. What is the ruling on suicide?”

I decided to surprise him by saying in response something unexpected, so I said, “It is recommended!”

He screamed, “What?!”

Who is the most beloved to you?

Who is the most beloved to you?

Chapter 7
Dr. Muhammad 'Adb Al-Rahaman Al-'Arifi

You will become the most proficient in using the various skills in dealing with others when you treat everyone in such a way that he thinks of himself as the most beloved of all people to yourself. For instance, you should treat your mother so grandly that she begins to think you have never treated anyone in such a fine manner.

You can say the same about the way you should deal with your father, your wife, your children, and your colleagues. In fact, you can say the same about someone you meet only once, such as a shopkeeper, or a petrol station attendant. You could get all these people to agree that you are the most beloved of all to them, if only you can make them feel that they are the most beloved of all to you!

The Prophet (PBUH) was an expert in this.